February is the cruelest month. Didn't somebody say that? Well this february seems to be not so much cruel but annoying. Irritating for reasons it should not be irritating for. It's too perfect. Yup, mild and snowy and sunny most days. It's beautiful. I took a drive to Littleton yesterday and even driving down the highway it was spectacular. Every single tiny branch had at least an inch of snow balancing on top. It was bright but not so bright I couldn't see. Just bright enough so that all the caps of the White Mountains could be seen.
And that's why it was annoying. I wanted to be there. Up on top of those mountains. Standing on those peaks, sweaty and cold simultaneously, sucking in that wildly frigid mountain top air, pit of my stomach growling, just about to pass out. I love that high.
But I was in a car. A dirty car no less and full from a gluttonous tuna sandwich, depressed dog soaking the passenger seat next to me, baby in back moaning away from those horrible jagged little teeth ripping their way through her sad little gums. And I was going to TJmaxx. Ooh, it was exciting. I love to shop and since I've been thoroughly disgusted by my mundane wardrobe lately and cabin fever has long since set in I thought a shopping spree would be just what I needed. Bills were piled up but who cares, right? There'll always be bills, I can just hear my mother say. So I spent all of $12 on a pair of linen pants and a merino wool sleeveless sweater thing (it's not as tacky or as 90s as it sounds).
And I was happy. For an afternoon I had escaped. Gotten out of Dodge for a few brief hours and here I am again. Home sweet cluttered, dusty, dog hair ridden home. I realize today that my efforts yesterday were mediocre at best. I need longer lasting, more satiating escape! I need that mountaintop! Damn it! I even tried to go for a walk to the cemetary today and ended up losing one of Tessa's booties along the way cutting my big outing in half. She can't be out long these days even when the temp is about 30, her chin and cheeks are raw and peeling.
So... wah, wah, wah. It's gorgeous outside and I can't seem to enjoy it. I'm too scattered. Too anxious and pent up and unmotivated. Perhaps february is the cruelest month because even when she's flirting, showing off her lighter, brighter side, she's just a tease.
And that's why it was annoying. I wanted to be there. Up on top of those mountains. Standing on those peaks, sweaty and cold simultaneously, sucking in that wildly frigid mountain top air, pit of my stomach growling, just about to pass out. I love that high.
But I was in a car. A dirty car no less and full from a gluttonous tuna sandwich, depressed dog soaking the passenger seat next to me, baby in back moaning away from those horrible jagged little teeth ripping their way through her sad little gums. And I was going to TJmaxx. Ooh, it was exciting. I love to shop and since I've been thoroughly disgusted by my mundane wardrobe lately and cabin fever has long since set in I thought a shopping spree would be just what I needed. Bills were piled up but who cares, right? There'll always be bills, I can just hear my mother say. So I spent all of $12 on a pair of linen pants and a merino wool sleeveless sweater thing (it's not as tacky or as 90s as it sounds).
And I was happy. For an afternoon I had escaped. Gotten out of Dodge for a few brief hours and here I am again. Home sweet cluttered, dusty, dog hair ridden home. I realize today that my efforts yesterday were mediocre at best. I need longer lasting, more satiating escape! I need that mountaintop! Damn it! I even tried to go for a walk to the cemetary today and ended up losing one of Tessa's booties along the way cutting my big outing in half. She can't be out long these days even when the temp is about 30, her chin and cheeks are raw and peeling.
So... wah, wah, wah. It's gorgeous outside and I can't seem to enjoy it. I'm too scattered. Too anxious and pent up and unmotivated. Perhaps february is the cruelest month because even when she's flirting, showing off her lighter, brighter side, she's just a tease.
3 comments:
Oh my god I know how you feel!!!! I would love to get out on those mountains. Sometimes I feel like Camels Hump is just tormenting me with its taunting white cap ridge. Looking forward to seeing you on Friday. Maybe I will come visit you guys the following weekend? We can take a big adventure to the cemetary to walk around....wahoo!
Post a Comment