Rated PG-13 for Language

I just twisted my ankle and damn it it hurts. I actually exclaimed, "SHIT!" very loudly as the 90 year old sweet neighbor lady passed by. I cringed for a second, more out of shame than pain, but then I thought "yeah, that's right. SHIT! it hurts! Goddamnsonofabitch!" I need to either try to start and censor my dirty mouth or wear it out and wearing it out sounds like more fun. I don't really want my child's first word to be something that would forever label them as "that foul mouthed little thing". I'm sure it won't but these are my fears these days.
I guess all these new paranoias could be labeled under "what the hell kind of parent am I going to be anyways and who's gonna let me get away with this?" I'm sure it's totally natural to feel like this when you're just what... 8, 9, 10 weeks away from bringing a new person into this world!? Jesus. Seriously, time is just flying by and I'm trying, really, really trying not to freak out. I popped a gasket (is that the term?) the other morning somewhat to the surprise of dear, sweet, unassuming J. It just happened all of a sudden. On a beautiful early summer morning with wonderful plans for the day every piece of my body seemed exhausted and anxious and tense all together and my head spun and I thought I'd just crumble. But after talking and talking and drinking some good iced tea I felt much better. I know I need these breakdowns, I always have. They're like the very end of a very long run that I've been somehow going on while asleep and suddenly I wake up and I can't handle it for one more step and somehow I make myself (by not curling up under the covers and escaping the world and those I love) finish the run and I feel so much better (although a little confused to how I got there but certainly a lot stronger).
I think we've both realized now that this is really happening. It had to hit us at some point, although I'm sure the real kicker will be when little babe is actually out of my body and in our arms. So, trying to sell a house and move in the next 8 weeks is probably unprobable and weighing us down with an inordinate amount of stress. We don't want to struggle through another winter, especially when I won't be working as much and our bills will be higher, but we also don't want to miss out on all those important little things people do before a baby comes. Like getting all their tiny little baby clothes ready and organizing and checking off all the essential baby needs. I can't even start to do these things when I think about having to pack it all up and move it somewhere else. So we're going to passively try and sell for the time being and then try it a bit more aggressively after little one is here. That's the plan as of today anyways and I'm able to be more relaxed just not having to think about it. Now, we can hang out in the house and enjoy it and make it more the kind of first home we want for this baby. I still want to move towards Burlington very soon but one day at a time right? We're spending all our weekends there anyways so we'll think of it as a commute for now. A commute to where we live two days a week for fun.