As of this morning we're leaving the Northeast Kingdom. It almost seems completely random even though we've had this discussion about one million times since moving out here from Burlington five years ago. Do we stay or go? Have we put in all this time and effort and planted our seeds just to find out they were annuals? Or has this just been an incredibly important leg of a much longer journey towards a place we've yet to discover? Isn't staying always the easy thing to do? Once life isn't so difficult is it just tedious?
If after years of saying this isn't where I imagined living out the rest of my life why was the wind knocked out of me when Jason first told a co-worker essentially sealing the deal? Why am I so anxious and shaky? We've made list after list of the pros and cons of staying vs. leaving and they seemed to balance out almost entirely. Except for one biggie. Our security here. Asking "what if" didn't leave us feeling ok about being left up in the air out here. So how to place roots when the ground is too loose to stand on your own? Would we ever feel confident enough to build or buy a house of our own again up here? We just don't see that happening anytime soon and so...
We move on. We start all over again; strangers in a strange land. A larger family than we were five years ago, carrying a bit heavier load but with stronger arms. Here we go!
5 comments:
Kirsten, where are you guys moving to?
southern vermont. it's bittersweet actually. closer to my family, not really any farther from jason's but out of this world we've woven ourselves into up here. c'est la vie.
THat is beautifully written....so sorry I couldn't help with the move...but can't wait to see your new view....susie
So where are you? What's the new house like? Can we see pictures? Are you happy?
I love you.
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