Oh it's hit me now. The exhaustion, the nausea, the inane moodswings (although husband might say that's been around for a while). Yesterday it hurt to move, to eat, to think about moving and eating. Today I forced myself to eat a bigger, healthier breakfast and I'm not relying on the restaurant's staff meal tonight for dinner(last night's was meat pie... um, no thanks). I must say I do feel better. More energetic, less like I want to curl up on the floor and sleep the next 8 months away. I actually created a makeshift bed behind the bread station last night out of three chairs. I felt ridiculous so I begged my coworkers and the chef to "let me go! please! please! for god's sake let me go!" I was too pathetic to ignore so I was on my way home in minutes. Couldn't sleep (of course, it's night time why would my body let me sleep when it's actually night time?) so I watched 3 episodes of Law & Order SVU. It's so sick and twisted and addictive. It's one of the worst habits I have to quit before having children. I generally hate TV but there's something about that 'dun dun' between every scene that's got me hooked.
Oh, I don't know if it's the anxiousness I'm feeling to tell my mom or if it's just plain morning sickness that's making me queasy but I must go lay down for twenty minutes before I head out to wait on more unassuming patrons. Next time you leave a 12% tip on the table (because what's the difference of a dollar or two, you like to keep your checkbook round) for that sweet but tired looking waitress think - oh, maybe she's trying to make money for something more than skittles. Yup, she's full o' baby and running her growing ass off for your hot water with lemon you need right away. Sorry, must nap before Mrs. Hyde comes out.
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Two things ...
1. I love SVU. I actually think it's the best of all the Law and Orders and I watch it quite obsessively. There were certain episodes that I did find unwatchable during my pregnancy though, they were just too scary and hit too close to home. Make sure you allow yourself to back away from those.
2. I know that everybody says it and it's hard to believe, but the sickness really does get better. I threw up three times/day for about two months straight and then magically one day I just stopped. And let me tell ya, they aren't kidding when they say that you'll feel fabulous in your second trimester. Never felt better in my entire life! So just keep going with it, allow yourself to feel like crap sometimes, eat whatever you can, and remember that there is an end to it.
Hugs. You're doing a great job!
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