catching up... Week Two

Mom came up to see her first grandchild (and take care of me too). They got along smashingly - look they even coordinated their outfits!

Tessa with her two great grandmas!!

We got to do some relaxing in the yard after everyone left.

We even took a day trip to Montpelier! Here we are resting up at the park.

catching up... Week One

The night I went into labor (about 24 hours before Tessa was born)...

Pizza dinner and a Hoegaarden to calm the nerves. I had no idea what was coming to me.


Our first dinner home with little girl. Same house, same setup just add a brand new perfect person, bunches of beautiful flowers, a little less sleep and a new meaning to the word happiness.
We had salad compliments of Elements and an amazing creamy pesto pasta dish by Chef Jason. Tessa had a very local unpasteurized breast milk she seemed to enjoy.

The first few nights were pretty hard; an hour sleeping, an hour nursing but we had a very pleasant first few days at home just the three of us (well, four, sorry Percy). Jason made fabulous dinners and waited on me hand and foot. Umm, honey? Could you go down to Brooks and get me that nipple cream? Thanks.....

Then outside help arrived! We got some good support from people who know. Tessa's aunt and uncle relieved our fears and brought us good nourishment while her big cousin Lukas kept an eye on her at the Littleton farmer's market. It was our first big trip out into the world as a family and all went smoothly until I discovered her diaper rash and lost my mind thinking I was the Worst Mother in the World already.



Granny J took her shift and cooked and cleaned and cooked some more. Good times were had by all as the celebration continued on. We were excited to introduce Tessa into this good world by surrounding her with family, friends, good tunes and of course the fragrance of great food.

these days...

Life is just flying by. In a good but bittersweet way. In an incredibly beautiful way that time has never passed for me before but already with a hint of longing for these minutes to stretch just a little further. It's 2 pm. So far today I've managed to take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast and mow about 10 square feet of lawn. Just add nurse and change Tess in between each one of those basic daily tasks and you have my past three hours. And I love it. I have books and magazines piled up to read during the hours a day I spend feeding her but I've yet to finish one article. I just stare and stare knowing I'm witnessing her grow and change without being able to understand or really see it. Writing just this has taken 42 minutes already. She's been on my lap as I rock her and type a sentence one handed then break to breathe her in for a few minutes more.

So, as well intentioned as I am to continue internet journaling this time with her it's going to take me a while. I haven't even started to write down her birth story and it's been over two weeks! This might turn into more of a week by week photo journal. Just one way to try and track these days I'm reluctantly letting go by.

A Week and A Day

I guess I forgot to post all the details so....

Tessa Cairn was born!

Monday August 6th

at 6:45 pm

weighed 8lbs 6oz

measured 20" long

Her eyes are a deep midnight blue, her hair ashy blonde, her feet and hands long and thin. Every night she seems to sleep in longer stretches - yay! Last night she slept for 4 1/2 hours! Jason actually woke me up before she did! We're typical nervous new parents but we've only called the pediatrician once. When she sleeps we worry she's sleeping too much and when she's awake we're worried she's not sleeping enough. Most of yesterday we spent trying to passively keep her awake but she's pretty determined to sleep when she wants to. Nursing has gotten progressively better to the point I don't even wince when she latches on any more. When she's not sleeping or eating she's usually in a state of active quiet consumption of the world around her. She's highly attracted to natural light and the polka dots on the blanket in her bassinette. She seems only to get really upset when we change her but not always.

Hands down she's the single most incredible thing I've ever seen in this world and if there's anything that's made me think there's such thing as soul or spirit it's her. So, yes, we're all happy and healthy here. Doing great with the support of our family and friends. Our birth story is still getting worked out but I'll be sure to post it when we figure out what happened and in what order (warning: it's a long one).

guess what!

The River

I haven't posted in a long time. Mainly because I feel a little at a loss for words. Frankly, I'm bored. Of course there's a baby coming and I should be relaxing and relishing in these last few moments of quiet and relative peacefulness but..

I've done it to death.

The one thing really saving me from going absolutely batty is the river. It's officially called Sunny Side Up to the locals but to Jason and me it's just the river. It's an amazing spot a few minutes drive from our house with clear, clean water and pools of varying depths. It's hidden in the woods just off a dirt road with a cow pasture on the other side. There's rarely anyone there so Percy can run free and we can sunbathe however we like. My big exposed belly as no one's concern. Whenever anyone asked me over the cold winter and spring months how I expected to handle the summer heat while extremely pregnant I explained I would be spending my days in the river. And I have. When Jason's been available to escort me.

See, we have a little snorkeler problem. (Snorkeler is our word for creep. Watch Little Children and understand.) He's a local nudist which I'd have no problem with whatsoever if he didn't also happen to try and engage the people around him, or get off in his car. I've only seen him up close two or three times and seen his car parked a few more, then opting to find another dipping spot. It drives me nuts. Why, oh why does one bad snorkeler have to ruin such a naturally beautiful and serene spot. A spot where otherwise I could lay all day in the sun, reading and writing and contemplating all the wonders of motherhood. This is why we live in Vermont! But no. Just because I'm a woman in a somewhat vulnerable situation (read carrying child) my access to places of natural beauty by myself are limited. I can walk around town all I like and sit by the fountain or in the cemetary but I can not cool off on a hot day alone without being afraid.

Blah. My little rant.

Otherwise, things are great and how are you? I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting for this baby to arrive and fill my days with new life. Till then I'll force myself to relax, to sleep while the sleeping's decent, to fill my freezer with baked goods and hummus, to walk Percy around and around and around town, to change my answering machine message to "no baby yet, we'll let you know".

This Summer's Hike

Baby's first attempt at Moosilakee. God, I love that mountain. This past weekend we wanted to show Evan and Tina some great falls in the White Mountains. Of course, I forgot that it's a 1/2 mile hike up to the base of the cascades. At the start you are warned : THIS TRAIL IS EXTREMELY TOUGH...

Of course now Jason says I can't use the excuse that I'm too pregnant to take Percy on a walk around the block or park down the street from where ever we're headed. Then I remind him that next summer he'll be carrying this baby up and down mountains himself.





This picture was taken with the sole aim of getting a reaction out of my mother. I'm such a child.






I definitely got a rush off of the little bit that I did hike. I didn't want to stop! I could just see that mountaintop with all those cairns, surrounded by those beautiful peaks!







And this is Percy at twilight. After a good day of hiking and swimming there's nothing like a good local brew.